apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
