Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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