those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize