Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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