You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
