Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.