I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
