Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize