yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
