**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
