Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
