And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
