At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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