We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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