I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
