you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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