Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
