I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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