I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
