also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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