it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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