It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize