yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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