all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
