Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?

  (408): View more from California

  we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.

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  (202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why? (408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try. http://tfl.nu/v7dh
  Replies (21) Good night (751) Bad night (1618)
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  (818): View more from California

  i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.

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  (818): i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore. http://tfl.nu/kjzo
  Replies (12) Good night (3866) Bad night (877)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.

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  (828): I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse. http://tfl.nu/gxwi
  Replies (14) Good night (4372) Bad night (975)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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  (250): i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now http://tfl.nu/xz0v
  Replies (8) Good night (862) Bad night (3909)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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  (781): My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss http://tfl.nu/yqt0
  Replies (17) Good night (8690) Bad night (1080)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach

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  (774): Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach http://tfl.nu/gl5r
  Replies (3) Good night (4386) Bad night (936)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.

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  (615): I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag. http://tfl.nu/vhx8
  Replies (8) Good night (5058) Bad night (1146)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (1040) Bad night (6342)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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  (401): We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/48jv
  Replies (8) Good night (3481) Bad night (1033)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy

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  (601): i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy http://tfl.nu/7bad
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (2127)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was

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  (850): Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was http://tfl.nu/vhsw
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (284)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.

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  (763): There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying. http://tfl.nu/1hl2
  Replies (6) Good night (325) Bad night (765)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.

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  (317): No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30. http://tfl.nu/14gy
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (245)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.

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  (515): I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground. http://tfl.nu/9fcw
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (297)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?

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  (501): okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy? http://tfl.nu/u6yi
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (188)

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