Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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  (954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter http://tfl.nu/xmwz
  Replies (17) Good night (2094) Bad night (473)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.

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  (443): God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse. http://tfl.nu/g7w2
  Replies (18) Good night (3971) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  I love foreign exchange students.

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  (417): He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students. http://tfl.nu/3hb4
  Replies (6) Good night (3710) Bad night (700)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.

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  (517): we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/tadi
  Replies (11) Good night (8766) Bad night (1951)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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  (573): If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing http://tfl.nu/6uck
  Replies (10) Good night (2336) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.

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  (709): You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese. http://tfl.nu/dujc
  Replies (6) Good night (2742) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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  (714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8
  Replies (40) Good night (5382) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Some girl just showed me her stretch marks

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to get out of tn

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  (304): Some girl just showed me her stretch marks (757): You need to get out of tn http://tfl.nu/alqm
  Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?

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  (207): All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night? http://tfl.nu/fpgg
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

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  (309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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  (732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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  (714): Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ? http://tfl.nu/wlh8
  Replies (5) Good night (850) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.

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  (253): I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute. http://tfl.nu/d7nx
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

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  (440): I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape. http://tfl.nu/tyij
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (200)

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