Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
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You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole