Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Don't you send me to vm
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..