Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.