I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING