Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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