marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
did you just send me my own nude
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.