great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
