glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
