I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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