So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just had sex bonerless
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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