Kiss
Puke
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
