I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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