his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
