the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
