you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
