the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
