"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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