Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
