toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
