Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
