your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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