all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
