I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
