My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
