Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
