I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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