I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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