Where is the hickey?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry about my life...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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