five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
