There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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