i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
