apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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