please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
