So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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