when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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