dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
