now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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