I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If its not for food we ain't going out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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