So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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