Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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