so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
