that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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