this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So much Jack, so little girl.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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