I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
