I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
