i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
