I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I believe in your delicious
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize