You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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